More beasts (for worse children)

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PR
6003

M655
1897
C.3
SMC

LONDON :
DUCKWORTH- AND CO

3 HENRIETTA STREET, COVENT GARDEN.

LONDON :
DUCKWORTH AND CO.

3 HENRIETTA STREET, COVEXT GARDEN.

DEDICATION.

To

Miss ALICE WOLCOTT BRINLEY,
Of Philadelphia.

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INTRODUCTION

THE parents of the learned child
(His father and his mother)
Were utterly aghast to note
The facts he would at random quote
On creatures curious, rare and wild ;
And wondering, asked each other

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"An idle little child like this,
How is it that he knows

What years of close analysis
Are powerless to disclose ?

Our brains are trained, our books are big,
And yet we always fail

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To answer why the Guinea-pig
Is born without a tail.

Or why the Wanderoo* should rant
In wild, unmeaning rhymes,

* Sometimes called the " Lion-tailed or tufted Baboon of Ceylon."

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Whereas the Indian Elephant
Will only read The Times.

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Perhaps he found a way to slip
Unnoticed to the Zoo,

And gave the Pachyderm a tip,
Or pumped the Wanderoo.

Or even by an artful plan

Deceived our watchful eyes,

And interviewed the Pelican,
Who is extremely wise."

10

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Oh ! no," said he, in humble tone,
With shy but conscious look,

Such facts I never could have known
But for this little book.'

1 1

The Python

A PYTHON I should not advise,-
It needs a doctor for its eyes,
And has the measles yearly.

12

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However, if you feel inclined
To get one (to improve your mind,
And not from fashion merely),
Allow no music near its cage ;

And when it flies into a rage
Chastise it, most severely.

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I had an Aunt in Yucatan

Who bought a Python from a man

And kept it for a pet.
She died, because she never knew
These simple little rules and few ;-

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, ,

o fo

The Snake is living yet.

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The Cambrian Welsh or Mountain Sheep

Is of the Ovine race,
His conversation is not deep,

But then — observe his face !

The Porcupine

What! would you slap the Porcupine?

Unhappy child — desist!
Alas ! that any friend of mine

Should turn Tupto-philist*

* From ™rrco=I strike; 4>iA«o-a=I love; one that loves to strike. The
word is not found in classical Greek, nor does it occur among the writers of the
Renaissance — nor anywhere else.

i8

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To strike the meanest and the least
Of creatures is a sin,

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How much more bad to beat a beast
With prickles on its skin.

2O

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The Scorpion

The Scorpion is as black as soot,
He dearly loves to bite;

He is a most unpleasant brute
To find in bed, at night.

21

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The Crocodile

Whatever our faults, we can always engage
That no fancy or fable shall sully our page,

So take note of what follows, I beg.
This creature so grand and august in its age,

In its youth is hatched out of an egg.

22

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.0

And oft in some far Coptic town
The Missionary sits him clown

To breakfast by the Nile :
The heart beneath his priestly gown

Is innocent of guile ;

When suddenly the rigid frown
Of Panic is observed to drown
His customary smile.

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Why does he start and leap amain,

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And scour the sandy Libyan plain

26

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Like one that wants to catch a train,

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27

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Or wrestles with internal pain ?

28

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Because he finds his egg contain-
Green, hungry, horrible and plain-
An Infant Crocodile.

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The Vulture

The Vulture eats between his meals,
And that's the reason why

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He very, very rarely feels
As well as you and I.

His eye is dull, his head is bald,
His neck is growing thinner.

Oh ! what a lesson for us all
To only eat at dinner !

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The Bison

The Bison is vain, and (I write it with pain)
The Door-mat you see on his head

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Is not, as some learned professors maintain,
The opulent growth of a genius' brain ;

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33

But is sewn on with needle and thread.

34

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The Viper

Yet another great truth I record in my verse,
That some Vipers are venomous, some the reverse;
A fact you may prove if you try,

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35

By procuring two Vipers, and letting them bite ;

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_,

With the first you are only the worse for a fright,

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37

But after the second you die,

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The Llama

The Llama is a woolly sort of fleecy hairy goat,
With an indolent expression and an undulating throat
Like an unsuccessful literary man.

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39

And I know the place he lives in (or at least — I think I do)
It is Ecuador, Brazil or Chili — possibly Peru ;
You must find it in the Atlas if you can.

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The Llama of the Pampasses you never should confound
(In spite of a deceptive similarity of sound)

With the Lhama who is Lord of Turkestan.

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For the former is a beautiful and valuable beast,
But the latter is not lovable nor useful in the least ;
And the Ruminant is preferable surely to the Priest
Who battens on the woful superstitions of the East,
The Mongol of the Monastery of Shan.

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The Chamois

The Chamois inhabits
Lucerne, where his habits

(Though why I have not an idea-r)

Give him sudden short spasms
On the brink of deep chasms,

And he lives in perpetual fear.

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43

The Frozen Mammoth

This Creature, though rare, is still found to the East
Of the Northern Siberian Zone.

44

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It is known to the whole of that primitive group
That the carcass will furnish an excellent soup,

Though the cooking it offers one drawback at least
(Of a serious nature I own) :

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45

If the skin be but punctured before it is boiled,
Your confection is wholly and utterly spoiled.

46

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And hence (on account of the size of the beast)
The dainty is nearly unknown.

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The Microbe

47

The Microbe is so very small
You cannot make him out at all,
But many sanguine people hope
To see him through a microscope.
His jointed tongue that lies beneath
A hundred curious rows of teeth ;
His seven tufted tails with lots
Of lovely pink and purple spots,

48

On each of which a pattern stands,
Composed of forty separate bands ;
His eyebrows of a tender green ;
All these have never yet been seen-
But Scientists, who ought to know,
Assure us that they must be so. . . .
Oh ! let us never, never doubt
What nobody is sure about !

WILLIAM BRENDON AND SON, LTD., PRINTERS, PLYMOUT1

PR 6003 .E45 M655 1897 c.3

SMC

Belloc. Hilaire
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children
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